Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
