I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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