I met the friendliest cop last night
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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