I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
