my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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