am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
