i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize