But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
