i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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