I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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