just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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