What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
