I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
your room smells of hookers.
And success
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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