If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
