pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
