Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
