why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
