they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
