i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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