i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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