I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Drunk is not a location!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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