at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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