We named our party play list daddy issues
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
