Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize