I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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