I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You ate ashes out of my bong
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
