He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
People in love make me want to vomit
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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