Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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