He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
