It's Friday. Sex?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The struggles of a small town man whore
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
