i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
