i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
