I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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