i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Someone signed my nipple.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
