just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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