Dude my mom stole all your condoms
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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