if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
