my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize