I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
