you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
