Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I accidentally had phone sex last night
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
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