there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
