he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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