He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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