May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
