508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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