dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
