she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize