I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
