I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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