This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
