girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
