Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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