Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
