You really coming over, don't trick.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
