Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
