i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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