Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
