I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
