matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize