Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
