dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
