Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Randomize
