theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
