you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
