Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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