There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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