Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize