At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
