Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
