You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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