Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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