Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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