this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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