so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
