please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
