Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
